heartbroken

apa khabar semua??baik sangat baik wooww!!..wah rindu pula ngn tagline ni...hikhihkihk..
its been a days im not update my blog..not opened my fb's nor tagged,skype,ym....huhu..these past days i have been in a hard situation..do u believe in love?i bet some will do and some will say fuck to love..is it?..well its ur opinion to say what love it is..to me..im not believe in love anymore..my heart is closed for love..i have locked my heart and throw away the key far far away from me..in future if there is someone that find the key to opened back my heart..that guy i will choose it as my partner..insyaallah..why im saying like this?..well this what i want to share with my readers..
now is my mid-term break..a week only..im not going back to my hometown because i have training at gym..so im just stayed at my hostel..im bet this holiday at hostel will be okay..but it turns around..its a disaster week in my holiday..huhuhu..
if u read my past story u will know why im talking like this..its about my bestfrnds that more a frnd to me..was my ex..after we were break up for unknown reasons..im totally down..my world was upside down..n im tryng to get up..yup i manage it but it really takes time..later im started to be just a frind with him..just a frnd..i dn't want to think about love anymore.. my closed frnd gv me an idea how to be closed to him again..half of my heart said 'i don't want to..' but some the other said..'go far its ur oppurtinity to be closed back'..im realised or not im fllowd her plan..well at first i was set up my mind..just to be frind okay..no feelling anymore..yup..it was going well but its hard..im always sms and asked him to went out with me..went to gym,dinner,lunch..all what i received was a negative..he always said he already done ate lunch.lazy to went out..yup..im just said its alright..ouch its sound like im perigi cari timba?..is it??..nahhhh..it is not lah..im just tryng..who knows get luck ^^..
two of his frnds told me that he is still loving me..and he always blamed himself for what happen between us..when im heard his frnds told me that..what will u thinkg?..yup a green light !..yeah i must go on with my plan..because i do i do still love him..and i want him back in my life..even im always pndm my prasaan for what he doing towards me..im always said to myself..'calm down far'..
one day, we all overnight..me,ila,jaja n hairi..at hayaki..he sddnly called me to helped him to do his asgnmnt..so im just went at him n helped him..yup we can gelak2 like before..n im so relieved..yeahh..
the other day we overnight again..but just me.ila ,alan n hairi..at hayaki..at 4 o 5 am like that he sddnly came to us..im so shocked..ouch!..sddnly my heart feels likes to pump out!..i saw him out from a car..i think pesona or GEN 2..like that..i don't know where the hell he went to..alright time was 6 am..so im with ila want went to home..im tryng to talked with him..but he was angry with me..his expression and the way he talked to me..im in a shock..so im leaved and i sddnly cryng..i feel so dumb..ila trying to bring a calmness to me..but im still cryng and cryng..niat far baik nk tegur tp kena mrh..sedih sngt2!!!
these past days i have received a sms from him..he told me that the name of missia is  a combination of his name and her new girlfrnd..when im read it..i was in doomed!..im crying and crying..my hands was shaking..my head want to explode..if he already have someone why he told his frnd that he still loving me??why 3!!..that guy was  bloody hell shitt!!torturing my feeling..plyng with my feeling..who do u think u are?..an angle?..a god??..oh shit...!!..i called ila..lemah sngt far rasa..ta terdaya lagi..peritnya..sakitnya..semua ada..im tryng my best these whole 6 months..but the end im got heart broken..so so in heartbroken again..i told ila everything..
at night kak wawa n emma sddnly came to my room..because far trkntoi mngis n kak wawa saw me..far luahkan..smpai ngis2..ta thn rasanya hati ini dipermainkan smpai begitu skali..far menyesal sngt2 knl ngn laki tu..and yg pling far nyesal far bg hati far kat dia..ya allah..kalau blh diputrkn masa..far tamau jmpa n knl guy tu....
and now..yup far dh kunci hati far..far tamau buka dah..far dah fed up..far dh give up..sbb far jenis setia pd yg satu..far bkn sng2 nk jatuh cinta lagi..dh break up then couple..break up then couple..im not that  kind of girl..
dear future partner..please don't break my heart again..far manusia biasa yg punya hati and perasaan..far bukan robot..^^

Best regards,

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